Today marks the first day of my last trimester!! Ahhh! Only 3 more months until this little kicker in my belly makes his appearance. It is really so hard to fathom that I have been preggers for 7 months. So far, I’ve had it pretty easy (unless you count being away from my family and all of my closest friends, cause that part has been HARD).

Bo has had it easy, too. He often looks at me with the most grateful expression and says things like: “thank you for not having crazy mood swings that make me want to throw myself from our balcony” or “thank you for not sending me out in the middle of the night because you are craving something that doesn’t even exist in China” or “thank you for not parking yourself on the sofa for 9 months and gaining 80 pounds like the Chinese doctor suggested.”

Seriously, other than the growing belly, I haven’t really had many major {negative} pregnancy symptoms. Yet, each time he’s feeling grateful, I respond to him with raised eyebrows and the same ole warning: “don’t worry, there are still 3 months left…”

I can’t let him off the hook quite yet. Gotta keep him on his toes just in case I ever have a Taco Bell craving.

As I mentioned above, the hardest part of being pregnant for the first time while living in China has been the fact that I am so far from my family. Fortunately, I have a great friend who has been documenting my growing belly through photos so my family back home can see my progress. Here are the shots from 15wks, 22wks, 24wks, and 26wks:

Kiley has a great blog which was recently nominated as one of the Top Expat Mom Blogs. If you have a few seconds, please click through and vote for her. The contest closes on June 6th, and you can vote once a day (per device) until then. Would love to see her great blog finish in the top 3!!

It is no secret that things are different here. There are many extremely strange/inconvenient/annoying things and situations that we, as expats, face on a daily basis. We typically greet these oddities with a raised eyebrow or two, but quickly adjust to a “new normal.” This is, after all, the life we signed up for.

But once in awhile, it is necessary to buck the system and {carefully} refuse to “live as the Romans do.” A perfect example of this is the current state of the Internet. Two summers ago, after a long visit to the States, I returned to QD to find that the gov*t had blocked a vast number of websites. These included all social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc. Not to mention all of the news sites and even an occasional blockage of Google and Gmail.

Since the Internet is essentially our lifeline to the outside world, it quickly became clear that this would never become our new normal. So like many other foreigners living in Asia, we subscribed to a vpn service (vpn=virtual private network). A vpn basically hides your location from anyone and anything out there in cyberspace, and makes it look like you are actually in a different country. And since only those folks surfing the web “in China” are blocked- voila! you are able to sneak over the Great Firewall of China.

In these days of political unrest, natural disasters, and fears of radiation exposure, access to information from around the world has become more important than ever for families like ours. And apparently, for these same reasons, blocking this information has become more important than ever to the Chinese gov*t. A few days ago, one-by-one, all of the vpn services started crashing. Each day, another service went down, which caused quite the frenzy in the expat community. Now, I’m fairly certain that the powers that be have been on to us the whole time, but apparently it was time to stop all of our shenanigans. So for the past 2 days, my world here has gotten smaller and smaller as I have been virtually cut-off from the outside world (including having access to this blog).

I really can’t describe how it feels to know that the world is going crazy and potentially moving toward danger in your particular part of the world, yet your only source of information is a gov*t who specializes in pulling the wool over the eyes of their people. I can just tell you that even after 2 days, it starts to suffocate. The claustrophobia sets in and you start to wonder if your days here are numbered. It was fun while it lasted…

But today, I’m back. Thanks to the hard work and sneakiness of my vpn service, at least for the moment, my world isn’t feeling quite so small. I fear that this situation will inevitably turn into a race between the vpn industry and the gov*t to see who can thwart who first, but I’m trying not to think about that. Today, I am just enjoying being able to breathe. But also wondering what tomorrow’s “new normal” is gonna look like.

Two pink lines have totally rocked our world and turned us from a duo to a trio.

Okay, so maybe the 2 lines aren’t *technically* responsible for the addition. But in those early days, when a woman is telling herself that all those symptoms can easily be attributed to the flu, or the weather, or a vitamin D deficiency, or whatever, those 2 lines are epically responsible for the convincing. (Not that I was easily convinced. Had to call in reinforcements for a second opinion on the Chinese pee-stick. To which my friend replied: “That is SOOOO positive!” Thanks, Kiley.)

I know that for many women, seeing those 2 pink lines sparks something inside that instantly turns them into a “mother.” They immediately feel attachment and emotion for that baby (or maybe the idea of that baby) inside of them.

For me, though, it was different. Although multiple pee-sticks and second opinions helped to wrap my head around the idea that ‘life as we know it’ had already changed, it took  a lot longer to wrap my heart around it. Honestly, for the first 3 months, I felt rather numb to the whole thing. (Which may explain the lack of blog posts).

It seems that for the past 8 years, I have been *surrounded* by loss and infertility. Both of my sisters and countless friends have experienced devastating disappointment,  miscarriage, and worse. I think maybe this is why I have had a really hard time opening my heart to the idea that this is really happening. To me. I think I practically expected for things to go wrong, or for those 2 lines to suddenly just disappear. Because why should I be so fortunate as for everything to go just right?

But they haven’t disappeared, and now at 16 weeks, my heart is starting to swell (along with my belly) as I really ponder the fact that I’m already a mom. Maybe I’m not changing diapers yet, but I am nourishing and protecting (and dare I say loving?) this unknown person who has already made a grand entrance into our lives. Yes, we are definitely a threesome now. And it seems that with every decision we make and every discussion we have these days, there is a new “little” detail to consider. In my heart, I finally know he/she is on his/her way.

And I can hardly wait.

This blog has been dormant for over a year, but I think it is time to bring it back to life. So much has happened since my last post, it is impossible to catch up. Here are some highlights, though:

My mother was blessed by a miraculous recovery from the Leukemia that was the topic of my last post. I stayed by her side for 3 months that summer as she took her chemo, fought hard, and quickly went into remission. It was a relief to come back to China knowing that my mom was going to be okay…

Over the past year, I have really enjoyed my life here in China. I started my own little fitness business (I am a licensed Zumba instructor), and currently teach fitness classes 6 times a week to both kids and adults. It has filled a niche in the expat community, (both as a healthy activity and a weekly social gathering) which makes my job that much more rewarding and fun.

These ads for my class are posted around the community.

On a more domestic note, this past summer I decided that after 7 years of marriage it was about time I learned how to cook. Suzy home-maker I am not, and I have never pretended to be. But after 2 years of Asian food and so-called “Western” restaurants here in China, enough was enough. So, during my spring trip to the States, I bought a fantastic cook-book, filled my suitcase with seasonings, utensils, gadgets, and such, and came back to China with a mission. Thanks to a few good friends (including this one), I believe my goal of self-improvement in this one little area was reached. I’m by no means Julia Child or Martha Stewart, but we no longer live on take-out, which is saying alot!

This year has been a year of travel, which is one of the best parts of living in Asia. So many beautiful and exotic places are just a short flight away. We recently spent 10 days in the Philippines, where Bo and I both got our open water scuba diving certification, something we had been wanting to do since our Miami days.

Bo and I practicing our navigation skills during the SCUBA training.

Most recently, we celebrated our 3rd holiday season here in China, although it was the first one where we actually stayed in Qingdao and really put our hearts into making it a festive time. We bought a tree and took every opportunity to feel the spirit of Christmas, even so far from home.

I am excited to see what is in store for 2011. Over the past 3 years, we have settled into our home away from home here in the Far East, with no immediate plans to re-patriate. We have built solid relationships and learned interesting things from people all over the world. And we definitely have the “travel bug,” so you never know where we may turn up. Hopefully, over the next year, I will be more disciplined to update this blog and share my discoveries and adventure with you. A new year brings a new perspective. Different than even a year ago…or a month ago.  More content, more at ease, and more positive about this crazy thing called “life in China.” Stay tuned…

When Bo and I decided to move to China, our biggest fear was that something would happen to someone in our family while we were gone and we wouldn’t be able to get home fast enough.

Today, I sit by my mother’s bed on the Leukemia floor at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. It is early morning, the sun hasn’t made an appearance, yet. I have been awake all night, tending to my mother’s needs, and thinking about how the Lord has taken such amazing care of my entire family as we face the battle ahead.

Exactly one week ago, I was in China when my biggest fear was realized. Well, half of it anyway. Last Friday, I felt like my world was caving in as my mom told me about her diagnosis of Leukemia. I knew I needed to get on a plane right away and be with her through treatment, so that is what I did. And you know what? It is a good thing that my fear didn’t prevent our move to China, because living there has resulted in the most flexible and free schedule that I have had in my entire adult life and I probably couldn’t have been at my mom’s side any faster if I had lived anywhere else.

So here I sit, still on “China time,” which works perfectly as my grandma takes the day shift and I watch over mom at night. The hospital is wonderful, and I am hopeful as we start chemo therapy today. My mother is on an extra special “protocol” treatment plan because of her rare form of Leukemia. This means that she has an extra team of doctors, cutting edge medicine, and ultimately a better chance of beating this thing after the first round of treatment.

My mom is really, really sick. But I am here, and I praise God for that fact. I am thankful for the way He mapped out my life so that it was possible for me to come quickly and stay indefinitely. God has shown me something about our fears- they don’t matter. Being afraid doesn’t stop bad things from happening. God tells us not to live in fear because He has everything under control, and He wants to put us where we need to be. Even when we think we know better.

So, even though it is hard, I am trying not to be afraid. I am focusing on the good that He has done, so much already, all undeserved.

As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said, “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here! See the place where they laid him.”

…Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb… because they were afraid. (Mark 16:5-8)

~~~

“Woman,” He said, “why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking He was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him and I will get Him.”

J*sus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward Him and cried out…”Rabboni!”  (John 20:15-16)

~~~

…Because you have seen Me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet who have believed. (John 20:29)

~~~

Here I am humbled by Your Majesty,
Covered by Your grace, oh Friend.
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful man,
Covered by the blood of the Lamb.
Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty-handed, but alive in Your hands.

Here I am humbled by the love that You give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand,
Knowing that I am Your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrife.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty-handed, but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.

Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

~~~

Wishing you all many blessings today. Happy Easter!

I thought you might enjoy seeing a photo of some of my students! One cold, windy afternoon, the students invited my friend, Shannon, and I to join them for Hot Pot. It was great fun!

I feel really blessed to have found the perfect job to help ease the transition into a new culture. Teaching English has given me opportunities to build relationships with local people, and even make some lasting friendships. I have had students into my home, and Bo and I have been invited into some of their homes (which is a really big deal). My students have helped me with countless tasks, from grocery shopping to figuring out how to keep mosquitos out of my house. They also teach me so much, and are eager to share about their culture as well as learn about mine.

March wrapped up my 6 month teaching commitment, and I considered quitting my job because I have honestly maxed-out my schedule lately. But I just couldn’t give it up completely, because that would mean possibly missing out on future friendships. So as of this month, I am working part-time. Three days a week, an NO weekends!! Yippee!

I just couldn’t abandon these guys…

By the way, the girl sitting down is my Canadian colleague, Shannon, not a student… as if you couldn’t tell!

Bo and I had to go back to BJ for a couple of days so that he could get his shoulder checked out. The report was good, the x-rays showed that he is healing nicely, and we should be right on schedule for his other surgery in August (to remove the metal plate).

We only spent about 30 minutes at the hospital, so we actually got to do some sightseeing this time! We spent a day at the Forbidden City, which was pretty awesome. All of the trees and flowers were blooming, and the colors were amazing. After we got home, I realized that almost all of my photos were of trees. But I couldn’t help it! They were so gorgeous! I told my mom that I when I move back to the States, I want to landscape my whole yard with Chinese plants and trees. Did I mention I love them?

Here are some photos from our tour of the Forbidden City…

After a long day of tourism, we were amazed to find a “real” Texas BBQ restaurant. Of course we had to give it a try. Here is a photo of my meal… ribs, beans, cole slaw, and potato salad …served on a Texas shaped plate… and actually really delicious.

Or maybe it has just been too long since my last meal at Corky’s.

I did not come to China with the intention of studying Chinese, but after a few months of frustration with the language barrier, I decided to start lessons. Out of desperation, really.

Lucky for me, I have the best teacher in the world, and as it turns out, I really love learning this crazy, crazy language. One day, I will write a whole post about my beautiful teacher, Lavender, who I adore. But not today. Today I want to brag a little. Ha!

I find that nothing helps you learn Chinese like riding in taxis. The drivers are usually very chatty, and none of them speak a lick of English. If you don’t understand Chinese, they will usually just repeat the question or comment over and over (and louder and louder) until you understand or just jump out the window. I love it! They are relentless, but I get plenty of practice.

I have officially been here for 6 months, but I have only been studying Chinese (regularly) for 3. I can definitely understand WAY more than I can say, but sometimes I find myself having a real conversation and I admit… it makes me giddy. 

Tonight I got into the car of a very boisterous taxi driver (Shi Fu: pronounced like sure-foo). He was VERY excited to give this foreign girl a ride home, and he talked my ear off for the full 10 minutes. Here is the conversation (all in Chinese):

Shi Fu: Hello!!!!!!!!!

Me: Hello!!!!!!

Shi Fu: Where do you want to go?

Me: Jin Hai Guang Chang, next to the Olympic Sailing Center.

Shi Fu: Where are you from?

Me: America

Shi Fu: (making gesture towards his face) You are beautiful!!

Me: Thank you, sir.

Shi Fu: America is very big.

Me: China is also very big.

Shi Fu: I like America.

Me: I like China.

Shi Fu: Yes, but I like to sing American music.

Me: Do you like Karaoke?

Shi Fu: I like to sing, but my voice is very bad. (and then he demonstrates this)

Me: (pointing to my favorite Karaoke place on the left) That is the Karaoke place that I like.

Shi Fu: Do you want to go there now? (starts to turn the steering wheel)

Me: No! Turn right up ahead!

Shi Fu: Do you live there? (pointing to an apartment building that is not mine)

Me: No! Go straight, then turn left… Okay, stop here.

Shi Fu: 8 kuai (this is the amount of money I owe). You go home now. 

Me: Thank you. Bye!

Shi Fu: Bye!

Did you know that the title of this blog is actually Chinglish? I have used that phrase so many times, but never realized (until I moved here) that it is actually a direct translation from the Chinese way to say “I haven’t seen you in such a long time!” Ha!

Anyway, things have been crazy lately. Busy, busy. With work, language lessons, and a few other balls in the air, I haven’t had much time to blog. Sorry, family!! I will try to do better!

Last weekend was a 3 day weekend for the Tomb Festival, which meant that Bo and I got to spend a beautiful spring Monday doing whatever we wanted. And we wanted to fly a kite.

Bo brought this huge panda kite home a few weeks ago and I died laughing. But it was fun to fly it, and the kids in our neighborhood enjoyed seeing it up in the air… for the 5 minutes we flew it before the wind died for the rest of the day. No joke. We spent an hour stringing the thing up, and 5 minutes flying it. But at least I brought my camera!!

Although I don’t choose to celebrate or acknowledge Valentines Day myself, I would like to send a little love out to all of my readers on behalf of the billions of Chinese folk who ADORE this holiday and celebrate in the colorful, glittery, passionate, over-the-top way that only Chinese know how to celebrate (anything). And while I think it’s silly to pay 5 times too much for flowers just because a marketing company once dreamed up a way to stimulate the economy by tugging on our heart strings, here is a blue rose from all my peeps in Qingdao. (Sans glitter, and frills, and ribbons, and pearls, and teddy bears that accompany ACTUAL blue roses in Qingdao).

Love ya, mean it!

A friend of mine sent me this, and I think it is really funny…(much truth is said in jest)…

Heavenly Father,        

Look down on us your humble obedient expat wives, who are doomed to travel this earth following our loved ones through their working lives to lands unknown.

We beseech you, oh Lord, to see that our plane is not hijacked or doesn’t crash, our luggage is not lost or pillaged, and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Give us this day, divine guidance in our selection of houses, maids and drivers. We pray that the telephone works, the roof does not leak, the power cuts are few and the rats and cockroaches even fewer.

Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is included in the meal and the food does not cause dysentery. 

Have mercy upon us Lord, if it be the latter, and make us fleet of foot to make it to the loo in time, and strong of knee in case we have to squat. Also give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not understand.

Make the natives love us Lord, for who we are and not what we can contribute to their worldly goods.

Grant us the strength to smile at our maids, even though our most treasured dress resembles a rag, or they take bleach to clean our well admired silk rug. Give us divine patience when we explain for the hundredth time the way we want things done. And Lord, if we ever lose our patience and thump them, have mercy on us for our flesh is weak.

Dear God, protect us from so-called “bargains” we don’t need and can’t afford. Lead us not into temptation for we know not what we do.

Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us and save them from making fools of themselves in nightclubs. Above all, please do NOT forgive their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.

And when our expat years are over Lord, grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories, so our lives as expat wives will not have been in vain.

Amen.

**For the record, I LOVE being an expat wife and traveling the world. Still haven’t gotten used to asian-style “squatty” toilets, but I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world! **