When Bo and I decided to move to China, our biggest fear was that something would happen to someone in our family while we were gone and we wouldn’t be able to get home fast enough.
Today, I sit by my mother’s bed on the Leukemia floor at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. It is early morning, the sun hasn’t made an appearance, yet. I have been awake all night, tending to my mother’s needs, and thinking about how the Lord has taken such amazing care of my entire family as we face the battle ahead.
Exactly one week ago, I was in China when my biggest fear was realized. Well, half of it anyway. Last Friday, I felt like my world was caving in as my mom told me about her diagnosis of Leukemia. I knew I needed to get on a plane right away and be with her through treatment, so that is what I did. And you know what? It is a good thing that my fear didn’t prevent our move to China, because living there has resulted in the most flexible and free schedule that I have had in my entire adult life and I probably couldn’t have been at my mom’s side any faster if I had lived anywhere else.
So here I sit, still on “China time,” which works perfectly as my grandma takes the day shift and I watch over mom at night. The hospital is wonderful, and I am hopeful as we start chemo therapy today. My mother is on an extra special “protocol” treatment plan because of her rare form of Leukemia. This means that she has an extra team of doctors, cutting edge medicine, and ultimately a better chance of beating this thing after the first round of treatment.
My mom is really, really sick. But I am here, and I praise God for that fact. I am thankful for the way He mapped out my life so that it was possible for me to come quickly and stay indefinitely. God has shown me something about our fears- they don’t matter. Being afraid doesn’t stop bad things from happening. God tells us not to live in fear because He has everything under control, and He wants to put us where we need to be. Even when we think we know better.
So, even though it is hard, I am trying not to be afraid. I am focusing on the good that He has done, so much already, all undeserved.
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May 23, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Jo
Hey Bec,
I’m so so sorry for the suffering you and your family are enduring. Know that we are praying for all of you. If there is anything at all that we can do please let us know. Love you guys.
May 24, 2009 at 12:53 am
Jessica Lawyer Kenney
We are praying for you and your family daily!! Keep us updated on how she is doing.
May 24, 2009 at 10:40 am
leah
girl, i am thinking about you and keeping all of you in my prayers. you are so strong and i know your mom is so glad to have you there. i pray the Lord will hold you and your mom and carry you both through this. His ways are not always our ways but we know that all things work together to the good to those who trust and love Him. i love you so much and i am so sorry your family is going through this. call me if you need me. my work is super flexible, i could jump in my car and be there if you needed me!!
May 26, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Ron
There is not a hour that goes by that I don’t think of you and Bo and pray. How grateful and blessed are we to have you in our lives. Now Stasy is there in our thoughts and prayers in a mighty way. Whether in China or Houston or Birmingham, the same Lord that lives inside me, lives inside you and lives inside Stasy. How conforting to know, without a shadow of doubt, our God is Good, Merciful, full of Grace and Wise beyond comprehension, Bec, you are strong far beyond your knowing.
We love you and anything you need…
May 27, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Forrest
I’m so sorry to hear the news. I believe your mom is as strong as you are. God is listening to the prayers from people who love you. Though I’m not able to come to you, I’ll pray for your family everyday. —Melody
May 27, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Forrest
Dear Rebecca,
I am so sorry. But I d like you to pass to your mom a story which is well known to every Chinese. Long long time ago, an old farmer lost his only horse. He cried for the loss for a long time. Soon after, the army recruited soilders from young people of his village. Since his family had no horse, his son was exempted from the recruitment, which means his son can avoid dying in war . So the saying is ” For the fact that the old man lost horse, no one could tell it is a bad fortune” . Each time when I faced troubles, I repeated this saying. I hope it can be little helpful to you.
I hope your mom can recover ASAP. God will bless your mom.
Please keep us posted!
Forrest
May 27, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Lee
praying for you!